Ok you’d think they’d be pretty easy to spot but you’ve heard the saying “wolf in sheep’s clothing”?  Yeah believe it or not some guys want you to THINK they are nice guys but they actually aren’t.  Go figure.   So here are some things (tried and true) that I believe are less obvious behaviors that show he just might be the oh so rare, good guy.  A gentleman.  Someone your dad would like.

Don’t get your boxers in a bunch fellas, there is going to be a fantastic follow up to this article about Nice Girls!

1.  He is Kind to his family:  Any man that communicates regularly with his family, goes to family gatherings, speaks to his mom or grandmother because he wants to shows that he doesn’t feel obligated to keep people in his life close, he wants to.

2.  Is Friendly to Serving Staff:  I guess if you’ve never worked in a restaurant or if you could give two licks about the serving staff than this doesn’t apply to you.  However, if you’ve worked in that industry (I believe everyone should at some point) you know it’s difficult and anyone who treats people who bring the booze, like shit, then they aren’t for you.  Bottom line, a nice person treats everyone equally!

3.  Has a Solid Group of Close Friends (Male & Female):  Again relationships are so critical, if someone has a close group of friends since childhood or college it’s a great sign.  They’ve kept long term relationships and have people who know them better than anyone and stick around.  It’s always a red flag when anyone has short terms friends or changes best friends or circles of friends regularly.

4.  Your Friends Get a Good Vibe:  Now the hard part, your friends.  Most likely you have a few friends who’ve been burned so you might have some skeptics in your group.  Let them be honest about what they think, it’s up to you if you go with their gut feelings or your own.  Give people a chance but I hate hearing my friends say “I told you so”.  Your friends know you really well, remember that.

5.  Doesn’t Cancel Plans:  You’re assuming I mean date nights with you, but I mean with other people.  If he makes plans and keeps them and follows through it shows he is reliable.  Major bonus points if he has plans with his grandma or niece, and a buddy offers game tickets and he keeps his original plans! (Rare but I know it’s happened)

6.  Calls When he Says He Will:  Its considerate and common sense but you’d be surprised how often people say I’ll call you tomorrow and they don’t.  Nice guys do!

7.  Lets You Order First/Pours Your Wine First:  This shows he is a gentleman!  I always notice when a man fills my wine glass before his own, it shows he is putting you first.  This is kind of an old school act of chivalry but I love it, I even notice when I am out with male friends and they do this.

8.  Notices if You are Enjoying Yourself:  Maybe you aren’t feeling well or you are in a situation where you don’t know many people, if your date goes out of his way to ask if you are having a good time or talk you up in a social situation, he’s a keeper.  He’s not just looking out for you but he notices without you even mentioning it.

9.  Remembers Facts About You:  Uhhhh hello, don’t we all say “I want a man who listens”? So you are on a third date and “Red Hat Guy” from a friends party just dropped nick name status because he remembered the story about how you fell out of the tree at summer camp.  You better swear to never call him Red Hat Guy to your friends again!

10.  Doesn’t Get into Fights: I am going to BRIEFLY touch on this.  Fighting is not cool, fighting is not manly (unless you are defending MY honor for a major insult) fighting is unacceptable and shows an aggressive nature. No bueno!

---